This past week has been a week of mourning… Kinda. I’m taking time to actually think about my life choices as I begin gluten free living. I had a gluten free and delicious dinner (complete with gluten free chocolatey goodness) with a friend who’s been living gluten free for a couple of years now. We discussed everything from our lives since we last saw each other, to actually things anyone avoiding gluten should know (thank you, Lord, for peanut butter M&Ms being gluten free!). I met up with her at 6:30 and spend 5 hours with her! it was a blast and I’m glad I did it.

So anyways, back to Lent. A lot of people treat Lent as another chance at their failed new year’s resolutions. But really, is that the purpose of Lent? I tend to think of it as a small time to actually sacrifice/fast from something I don’t think i can live without (Sodas, Sugar… Gluten!) to spend the time I would be participating in enjoying said thing in prayer as i remember all Jesus went through for us. He fasted forty days in a wilderness with no food, no water, and still he remained sane! He went through hell and back to allow us to join him in paradise. I can give up something for him… right? But I chose Lent to give up gluten, probably permanently, because I do want it to start as worship. I want to live a life of worship as my employers do. I want to be healthier so that I can better care for the Prince and I want to be able to use this as a testimony.

If I had to be completely and 100% honest, i’m kinda scared. I’m scared i won’t like the food i make because I’m afraid I’ll know it’s gluten free. And if I don’t like it, then chances are that Brandon won’t and i don’t want him to feel obligated to eat completely gluten free (but he has to eat what i make for dinner ) Yeah, i’m afraid of the uncertainty, but I’m happy too. I know that I’ll have to eat creatively to avoid gluten. I know that I’ll have to be more thoughtful of what goes into my mouth. My brain is totally going to get a work out. And I couldn’t be more happy! I also know this “fear” is completely unfounded as more and more places are realizing that gluten allergies or sensitivities are a common theme (I saw somewhere that around 10% of the population has a gluten sensitivity…)

 So join me in this journey. Remind me when I want to give up that there is so much more to this than just “giving up gluten.” Remind me to think positive. Feel free to give me really cheap/easy ways to make gluten free food that everyone will like. This is my journey, but no sojourner is completely alone.

A lot of my friends have gone gluten free for various reasons, all health related. And I want to jump the band wagon.

You may be asking why. Why would anyone willingly deprive themselves of yummy delicious bread and cookies and McDonald’s French Fries? And the reason is, well… kinda simple. I’m a migraine sufferer. I get them a lot. At least once a month. Last month i had 2, one lasting several days, and that doesn’t normally happen. I may get one in the morning and it’ll be gone by evening or i’ll get it in the evening and by lunch the next day it’ll be gone. But I missed 2 days of work due to migraines last month. I don’t want to do that again. So I’m doing the easiest thing i know to do…. Cut out gluten.

Yeah, I’m probably crazy.

The great thing about this though is one friend has a blog in which she posts gluten free recipes. Another friend is from the area and can tell me how to go gluten free. One of my favorite discoveries though is a gluten free pizza i stumbled onto by mistake… At BJ’s by the mall. They even have gluten free beer! (i still don’t like beer).

The hardest thing will be getting away from all my favorite sweets. Sadly most of them contain gluten because, well, they’re cookies, brownies, cakes… and oh so yummy! And even some deli meats i’ll have to be wary around because they use gluten fillers. One of the best parts? I can still eat Five Guys french fries!

So goal start date? Feb 22. Ash Wednesday. When multitudes of people give up random stuff anyway. I guess that means I must eat my final sleeve of Thin Mints now. Here’s hoping I actually have enough gumption to follow through.

I’ve been working with you in (activity) for a few months now. I know we took a break for (winter holidays) after (event) but it would’ve been nice to know a FEW WEEKS ago that we were resuming (activity) tonight. After all, I enjoy (activity) as well and I love to see (young persons) faces as they (perform activity)

However, I do feel like a (second class citizen) because you let me know (short amount of time) before (activity) that my (possible plans) may have to be side tracked. Not that I mind, i like (young persons) after all.

But please be aware that this is the (last straw) and I will be talking to (a staff member) about this (inconsiderate response) shortly. (passive agressive warning)

Sincerely,

MadLib

I grab my book and realize that it’s not the red envelope I’d used as my bookmark the night before. Instead it was this:

I have to admit it was really really cute

And then, Brandon, referring to a favorite pastime *coughgamingcough*, said “ding! one of four!” Thus began my insatiable urge to find the remaining three. By the way, I love challenges.

Yeah, i gathered this would be here....

Of course my first reaction is to open up Xena (I named my computer Xena because Brandon’s is the “warDog” and since we’re married, I thought Hey! i should have a similar name for my computer! How about Xena, Wardog Princess? That’s really all there is to that story) The funny thing about the above valentine is that Brandon lovingly refers to me as the “Wife Bot” (you can thank Deci for that) and I retort with “I’m a DROID!” and thus this is funny.

That’s half of them. “The other two,” he said after i opened a couple of random drawers, “are in places you regularly go throughout the day.” He could’ve said “you’re looking for them in Alderaan places” and then explained it. Yeah, I just thought of that myself. Anyway, my first thought was “cooooffeeeeeeeee!!!!” which resides in an awkward cabinet above my Keurig (because I hate having to measure and wait for coffee in the mornings and k cups are already done!)

Ewoks are teh cutest!

After my ritualistic morning cup of coffee, I go to the couch and sit down with my bible and journal. After all, I need my time with Jesus to be remotely near civil most of the time. My journal already holds lots of deep dark and pink secrets (cuz it’s pink….)

Brandon = Ultimate Bounty Hunter

And that is where I found this wonderful gem. In my pink journal. And thus ended my scavenger hunt. I loved it a lot. And I made sure to tell Brandon so. And in case you’re wondering… He got my phone charger AFTER all of this happened. Priorities, right?

Looking back, i realize he’d been waiting for this since I picked him up for dinner… Have I mentioned Brandon is the greatest? Well he is. Back off ladies, he’s mine!

Until the blog bug hits next time!

The urge actually overwhelmed me this morning as I was browsing iTunesU looking for random things when I stumbled on an introductory class for Hebrew. Can you say, “Heaven!”

Actually, this idea has been brewing for a while. In middle school, my youth minister talked about how Muslims highly regarded the Quran. It was a holy book and they treated it as such. It was a charge for us in the Bible Belt to not treat our Bibles as accessories, but as the Word of God… Yeah, I listened. Ten years later! Then in my studies of other cultures, I realized that not only is the Quran holy, but a translation of it is not the Quran, but an interpretation. The Arabic culture realizes that any translation takes away from the meaning of the Arabic words first scribed by their great prophet. Whoa. *Stab in the heart* Am I so naïve that I think I know what the Bible says when I can only remember a few key words in Greek? I can tell you the root of modern English words, but I can’t tell you all the New Testament says, or what Christ meant when He said… *insert Christ saying here* There are so many nuances I miss out on because I didn’t retain any of the Greek I learned. Really, I attribute this to two things. 1) My professor didn’t use a teaching style I could really get behind. (He may have actually not been a good teacher…) and 2) I was worn out from being in school for so many years… (5.5 years undergrad is a reaaaaally long time to be in school!)

This morning, I was reading one of my favorite stories from the Old Testament… Elijah. I giggled as I realized that Obadiah was legitimately fearful of his life when Elijah told him he wanted to see King Ahab (random aside: I haven’t read moby dick, nor do I really plan to, but who in their right mind names their kid Ahab? he wasn’t a good king. In fact, his prophets got SLAUGHTERED because they worshipped the wrong God and Elijah went on a killing spree…. ) but then I realized I don’t know the nuances. I don’t know what the importance of the Asherah poles are. I don’t know the culture. I want to know! As I’ve studied other languages (spanish and greek, really) I’ve had to learn some of culture so that I can understand what is meant when someone says agape as opposed to phileo, or when someone says “Me encanta” or “Me gusta…” some of it is subtle, some of it is quite literal. but I want to know more.

So I’ve added to my bucket list seminary courses in biblical languages and studies in general. I want to know…. Oh how I want to know.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a desire this strong… *oooouch*

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him? (Psalm 8:3, 4 NASB)

This Psalm is absolutely my favorite Psalm ever! In high school I’d take my trusty car (dubbed Black Beauty) to an area lake away from the city lights where I would open the sun roof, recline and just stare at the stars. I could spend hours there. It was my haven and you would have to be invited to join me in this endeavor. If I had a rough day, I was out there. If I had a great day, I was out there. Mom and Dad came to know that this was my ritual when I needed to be alone.

As I went on to college, my time with the stars when away. I couldn’t figure out where to go on which farm road and it eventually just became a thing of the past. I still stand in awe by the stars and nature and life in general. But stars… Well, they are my weakness. The song “Stars” by switchfoot explains my thoughts sooo well. Seriously!

Anyways, this last week has been bipolar Texas winter. Sunday was really windy with sepia skies. Monday was absolutely gorgeous. The Prince and I went outside and just stayed there. Yesterday was rainy and today is also rainy. I love it.

So I have to confess that I didn’t have my quiet time this morning (that’s code for reading and meditating on the Bible), but I did read Psalm 8 yesterday. I admit I was looking forward to rereading it. (aside: I read all 150 Psalms looking for one verse that I later found in Luke. I was smart LOL) I forgot how much was packed into Psalm 8 so I savored it. But verses 3&4 remain my favorite.

I am amazed that a God so big and mighty has chosen to spend time with me. I stand in awe that the creator of the stars chooses me a lowly human. And I love Him all the more.

Dear Dr Pepper Snapple group,

I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you…. You SUCK!

Sincerely, a former Pepper.

Ok really. I’m outraged right now. I am a die hard Dr Pepper fan… Or at least I used to be. I’d go to Six Flags proudly displaying my “I’m a Pepper” bucket hat. Throughout middle school and high school, i wore a reversible Dr Pepper basketball jersey whenever the chance arose. For my high school graduation, i got a Dr Pepper bucket with various paraphernalia from Dublin. When I got married (almost 9 months ago!) i got a case of Dublin Dr Pepper and cake mix from the same family friend who brought me the bucket. When Brandon and I drove through Dublin, Texas on our way to a friends wedding in the Hill Country, we had to stop and get Dublin Dr Pepper. And then! we had to savor every sip. It’s not every day someone provides you with a Dublin. In my home, it’s like the best wine… The stuff you only give to closest friends, and even then, it’s ONLY on special occasions. Quite simply, Dublin Dr Pepper is the nectar of the gods.

So imagine the shock… no… that’s not right… The HORROR of learning that Friday, January 13, Dr Pepper would say goodbye to a humble small town who kept its historic flavor alive for over 100 years. I mean, you drive down the main road and see Swingin’ Peggy swinging away on a billboard. But Corporate America has done it again… We have squashed the underdog with a bunch of legalities that in the grand scheme of things only matter when it means the big guy gets a few more bucks.

Greed. It’s killing us.

I didn’t understand the whole occupy movement when it was happening. I didn’t feel that I was a 99%er… But I do understand Small Town, USA… especially small town Texas.

I grew up in a town that, on a good day, had 2000 residents. We thought we were lucky to have a Dairy Queen, a hospital, and a mom and pop cafe that served authentic Mexican food and the best breakfast burritos in the county. Wanna know the surprise? 2001 was the end of DQ and the small hospital. So many memories in those places that would never be revisited, but hey, it’s life. So in 2001, my family moved, to another relatively small town. This town was in the heart of Texas, 45 mins from Dublin, and thriving with local businesses and tourist traps etc and it even had a Sonic… half a block from the DQ! I was in heaven! Fast food, mom and pop joints, local antiquities and curios…. and a rich and vibrant history, partially involving a horned toad, and within a small drive, Dublin Dr Pepper.

Surprisingly, this small town was JUST OUTSIDE the distribution area for Dublin… I had to drive to an even smaller town 20 minutes away to even buy a case. When Dublin came to help out with a local festival, I learned that we were literally 5 miles too far from Dublin to actually have it distributed in the town. I was sad… but not that sad. Two years later, I’d drive back and forth to Waco, partially to see family, and partially to go to Baylor. I started stopping halfway home and would buy a Dr Pepper to give me just enough caffeine to reach my destination. If I was really desperate, I’d grab a six pack. The catch? They had to be a DUBLIN…

Fast forward a few years. I see similarly designed cans at the Waco WalMarts (before i started hating walmart). I tried a few but something just wasn’t right. It tasted… Weird….

Fast forward to yesterday. I hear Dublin will no longer be making Dr Pepper… From my boss… Who doesn’t really drink Dr Pepper (and probably doesn’t really know/appreciate the rich Texan and partial Virginian history behind this fantabulous drink!) I start out, oh, well, that’s ok. And then I saw that Dr Pepper would still be made with sugar. And that’s when it hit. Dr Pepper just wanted to make a buck. And today i read it’s not even Imperial Pure Cane sugar…. nope. Processed beet sugar. 14 people in a very small town lost their jobs. I can only assume that other businesses will close as Dr Pepper no longer draws thousands of people to Small Town Texas.

Thanks, Dr Pepper.

Thanks for proving that the 99%ers are right. Corporate America only cares about the bottom line and seeing black. It doesn’t care about its consumers. I’m guessing in a few years, Dr Pepper will no longer make it’s poor excuse for the “historic” recipe. Even so… I choose to not buy anything Dr Pepper Snapple group. I will find smaller companies to support because I know how badly corporate America is killing small towns, one by one. Soon all these towns will go the same way my hometown has — a handful of small businesses that won’t even make it to an anniversary.

So I say this. Good bye, Dr Pepper. It’s been an awesome and fun ride. When you are bottled in Dublin again, I will consume you. Until then I’d rather drink Coke… and I don’t like Coke.

And DPS, when you find a way to encourage small businesses to success, I will *possibly* consume you again. Until then I’ll only drink sweet tea and other NON DR PEPPER SNAPPLE PRODUCTS. I hope you see the mistake your greed has led you to. May I always remember to NOT BE GREEDY!

Money can’t buy you happiness, but a can of DUBLIN DR PEPPER is pretty damn close.

Remember this for when you get home
One surprise is hidden
In rather plain sight.
The other must be found
If everything is to be all right

I love surprises so when I got home I noticed these

royal lilies

Lilies are my favorite flower. It may be because my middle name means “lily” or the symbolism of lilies throughout Christian history. I don’t know for certain, but I’m definitely glad my husband remembered that I love them!

But these beauties were NOT my surprise. This was!

"hidden in rather plain sight"

"The other must be found" (it was hidden in our pantry)

You know what this says to me? Not only does it say that Brandon loves me, but he also paid attention to me when I said I love surprise, I love lilies, and I love chocolate. I almost cried from joy when I saw that he got me lilies. I was so incredibly happy.

Now, if you please excuse me… Brandon has declared he has “occupied bed” and I must respond. Goodnight, interwebs!

I saw a tweet today regarding the rain in certain parts of Texas. This one group was “led” to “pray” for rain. I can’t fault them.  It’s been a long and dry summer, but is it truly our place to ask an Almighty God for rain? In the past I was taught God answered prayers…. I was taught to pray for anything I needed.  However, this neglected the relational part of my faith. I never got the Lord’s Prayer as anything other than “pray this if you don’t know what to pray.” My prayer life became a one-sided conversation where I asked God for anything and He was contractually obligated to grant my wishes…. Much like Aladdin’s genie. So when I saw this tweet, I began to wonder…. Do we often ask for the obvious so we can bask in the answered prayers? It was already overcast, and the clouds just waited for the right time to burst.  Did these prayers actually do anything?

My faith is constantly changing… Becoming less of an infantile belief to a more mature system of thoughts and beliefs that grow with study and time as I continue to search for Truth among my environment. One thing I’ve learned is to shut up when “praying.” Instead I find myself meditating on Psalms and aspects of Christ that have not nor will they ever change. I find myself listening more, asking for little because He is my friend… My Father…. My God. If He bowed to my every whim, I’d become greater and He less… He’d be in a little box that I had built, and that is not the God I worship.

I have nothing against praying for rain…. Except when the forecast says 100% chance. It seems that at that point we should listen to God, and not beg for more. It seems like at that point, we look at a gift horse in the mouth and find all the teeth rotting. Is it not enough just to embrace the welcome rain and praise God for the refreshment?

I challenge each of us to reevaluate how we pray and to seek ways of making this relationship with our Creator a little more two sided and less selfish.  I admit, I need to work on this too.

Also, it is ok to be a doubting Thomas…. Even he found the answers he sought.

I was a nanny for two and a half years, more or less. There were times where I disliked the kids, but loved the boss, but that changed as time went on. I grew to love those kids, no matter what they did, and then as time went on…. I grew to dislike my boss. I can’t tell you exactly when that changed. It could’ve been when she asked me to stay at her house for an entire week while she went out and played scrabble in another city…. or it could’ve been when she had me show up at her house before anyone was even awake. Yeah, that wasn’t weird at all…..

But it’s been really difficult the past couple of weeks. Doc got a facebook. I found out from her daughter, and I find it hard not to be curious about what drama she’s gotten into now. Last time I talked to the Mouse, she told me that she had to take the bus to work because she didn’t have a ride (she’s 18 now… She can get a license/car) and that their last nanny quit with no notice. Ouch. But, having been a former nanny, I can’t blame her.

It’s hard to be a nanny when the mother of the teenagers barely has enough trust to let them out of her sight for a minute at church. Being 17/18 isn’t easy, but, not ever getting trust from your mom isn’t easy either. They’re TEENAGERS! they screw up! it’s their job to find out who they are and she can’t even do that.

I can’t do this. not when Doc is tryin to mess up Daddy’s life. Did I tell you about that? there were some accusations being flown around about the time of my last birthday, and she still isn’t satisfied. Evidently, Dad told her “hi” one week at church, and she stormed around and said “don’t you have business to tend to?” Mom worries she might be wanting to file a suit against Dad for money he supposedly owes her when in fact, she kicked him out and changed the lock on the doors. Those last three months working for her were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t my place to complain to her kids because she is their mom and they should come to their own conclusions without me tainting that. Every night I’d get home from work to see Dad worrying about money because he didn’t have a job, and the next morning I’d go back to work for her. I truly thank God that He gave me the strength to continue when all I wanted to do was quit.  She asked me, as all this drama between our families developed, if it was going to affect me. My response, “Yes. But you’re kids are my job and I will do my best to care for them, whether you and Dad sort things out or not.”

It has been a struggle, to say the least, to get to the point where I can go up to her and say, “I forgive you.” I keep telling myself that Jesus preached love to our enemies, and yet, this is they hardest lesson to grasp.

And as long as I’m being honest, it’s hard to forgive someone when the pain you see in your family is so deep. I thank God that He took care of Daddy and gave him temporary jobs so that our family could be supported. I thank God that Dad is currently living out his dream as a small town doctor within driving distance from their house. And I thank God that it is a challenge to forgive. I love those kids. If nothing else, I’ll forgive her so that I can keep loving them.