Blue Christmas

Since about lunch time, all i’ve wanted to do is cry. While at lunch, i learned about the tragedy in Connecticut, and since it was already gray and cloudy outside, i couldn’t help but to *dwell* on it. For the most part, I’m a positive person. It really takes a lot to put me in the dumps where all i want to do is to cry until my pain is over, or at least until i can lift my head up again. I’m also tender hearted… To a fault!

Brandon noticed after I got the news of this horrible act how somber I was. Nothing really was cheering me up. Not even my SweetLeaf green tea or Pinkie Pie hoodie! (Brandon says I’m not allowed to be sad when i wear my hoodie… and most of the time I’m not!!) And then when i got home, I watched Law and Order: SVU (I’m a glutton for punishment) until i had to leave to pick up the Prince’s cousin from school. I kept reading twitter, looking for glimpses of hope of cyber space and social networks, and sadly not finding any. Everyone was pointing fingers at the government or defending gun owner rights… Few people stepped back to say, “A great tragedy happened in our nation today. We mourn with those who mourn. Let us take a moment and weep for all the innocent lives we’ve lost.”

If I were to be 100% completely honest, I am kinda dreading this Christmas. We’re doing another family auction and last year my mother in law was constantly bidding (even on things she didn’t necessarily want or need) because she was like “someone has to get the prices up!” She was also who Brandon and I spent all of Christmas with. We even watched Doctor Who there, and she wasn’t quite as impressed by the story telling as we were, but we had fun, spent time together, were a family. I’m gonna miss that. But at the same time, I’m so excited! I get to hang out with Brandon’s dad and his wife’s family! There are few things I love as much as getting to know new people! I’m also excited to spend time with Brandon’s dad! Really excited.

With this tragedy in Connecticut though, my emotions are a wreck. I started thinking about my oldest brother. In 8 days, he’d be celebrating his 43rd birthday, probably making fun of my uncle, his birthday twin (though, Uncle San is several years older than Trey would be…) My parents have been through the loss of a child. They’ve survived with the help of friends, family, and our small town. But I guarantee you, they still miss Trey. I think Theodin said it best… No parent should ever have to bury their child. 

So, friends, readers, whoever you are…. Please, don’t involve politics in a tragedy that has happened. Instead hug your kids, your parents, your siblings, whoever! and remember today *could* be the last you ever spend with them. No amount of legislation is going to revive the victims today. Also, listen to those around you who grieve. Hear their stories of the love ones they’ve lost. You’ll gain valuable friendships and strengthen bonds you never thought you would have. In the process, you’ll help them heal. It won’t be today, or tomorrow, but eventually the pain will dull to scars that remind us of what once was. We can’t keep looking at the past, but need to look to the future and live in the present. I am so thankful that the God I love and serve has also lost One he loved dearly. None of us are alone.

Be still. He is God.

About Karen

What's there to say really? I pretend I have two left feet because I hate the attention, but at the same time, i love to make people laugh, even if it's by being a klutz. I am an enigma, even to myself, and I'm full of irrelevant paradigms. I barely even know what I just wrote! View all posts by Karen

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