For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
My world has been wrecked. And admission by a trusted mentor has me reeling, trying to make sense of just how this could happen. In addition, I really want to hug this family, but I don’t want to make a very tense situation possibly worse. In reality, this is completely new territory, and I don’t know how to proceed!
Part of me wishes I could delve into details, that perhaps by doing so, the answer for all my questions would come to light, but I can’t. For one thing, it’s not my issue to address. For another, this family is already dealing with a lot. Adding a blog with specifics wouldn’t help, and definitely wouldn’t show them that I really do care for them. And truly, all i want to do is help.
I have been hit with the harsh reality that we all do mess up. I am guilty of thinking that by just being “good enough” I’ll be ok, that being good enough is all it takes to spend eternity with Jesus. But this is pride, and recent events have shown me there is no “good enough.” And my heart is wrecked. I’m heartbroken. I want to fix problems that I can’t. I’m praying like I’ve rarely prayed before that God’s grace would be apparent and real, that the truths of the bible would be evident.
I don’t care if you don’t believe as i do in the veracity of the bible or the Truth of the Cross. Wait, that’s a lie. I do care. I want all my friends to be victims of God’s grace. I don’t want to be passive any longer in living out my faith, but I want to be proactive in loving others, and showing them the grace that has been extended to me, a horrid, wretched person made right in the eyes of God through a blood sacrifice of His Son. I can’t explain His grace, just like I can’t explain how (scientifically) the universe began with nothing. I don’t deserve it. But that’s why it’s called grace.
I am wrecked. I am broken. My mind is going a million miles an hour trying to make sense of the last 24 hours. Part of me says it couldn’t have happened. Another part says it did, so let’s get back up, keep going and love others like their lives depended on it. Tell me, friends, do you feel loved? Do you feel like you could royally mess up and still be loved? That kind of love messes with your head. I hope you experience it.