I’m on a roll! 3 blogs in one week! It’s the little things.
This weekend, I participated in a women’s conference simulcast for the IF:gathering. It was like all my emotions that I’ve been experiencing the last several days came out of the wood work and into the open. My physical journal has like 10 more pages written in it as I was processing what God was trying to say.
A few weeks ago, our pastor challenged us to find what God was calling us to do and saying yes. At that point, I had no clue. At this point, still no clue. But this weekend, something changed. The yes was a yes to an adventure that would most likely terrify me. It was saying yes to doing, and not just saying. It was an active yes, one that I’d been terrified of saying. If God is calling me to say yes to him and to his plan, then what does that look like in my life? I told you a few days ago that I’d been reading the bible alongside my church and with my best friend. The Old Testament used to seem so dry, so boring, so… 5,000 years ago, but something has happened. I see Jesus in the words of (who people assume is) Moses. God gives him these rules, but it’s not so the Israelites can work their way into His favor. It’s so they can be set apart, chosen.
If I say yes to ALL God has for me, then I am saying YES to being holy – set apart.
If I say yes to being set apart, then I have to live my life differently.
If…. then… Scary words. But you know, Jesus said “IF you have faith as small as a mustard seed,(THEN) you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” A mustard seed isn’t big. Jesus never said I had to have great faith to do great things.
There’s the story of Peter in the boat. He said to Jesus “Lord, IF that is you, THEN call me to come out on to the water” and he walked on the water. Later, he denies Christ, but that’s not what he’s known for. He’s known for his faith… faith to move mountains, faith to make the lame walk and the blind see, faith that Jesus is who HE says He is.
If God is calling me to say yes, he’s not asking me to live an ordinary mediocre life. He is asking me to advance His Kingdom.
So all I have to do is say yes? You betcha. And I did.
And now I’m terrified.
But it doesn’t end with my fear. I believe that God does not give a spirit of fear. He doesn’t call us to be fearful, but faithful. I’m sure that Peter didn’t think twice about that storm raging around him when he got out of the boat to go to Jesus. But when he noticed it, he was afraid. He started sinking.
Jesus caught him. Peter didn’t sink far.
Maybe I’m just stepping out of the boat and I don’t really notice the storm around me. Or maybe I’m having a hard time stepping out because of the storm.
If I believe God is who He says He is… If I believe that Jesus is who He says… Then that thing I’m afraid of, that fear I cling to, has no place in my life.
I know that I can’t do this myself, and maybe that’s the reason I have fear, because I’ve been taught I’m not good enough. I let myself believe that I can’t further His Kingdom until my life is 100% put together, but that’s not the case. Jesus said “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” He never said “Come to me after you rest and get rid of your burdens and i’ll give you a good life.”
So all i have to do is….
Just. Say. Yes.