I experience firsthand two things today. 1: being a boy mom is not easy and may potentially lead to excessive consumption of coffee and tea to deal with the stress of it all, and 2: my daughter, much like me, does not want to grow up.
Regarding the first thing: While I was going to the bathroom today, i realized my son was not in a safe and secured place. And then I realized I was going to be a bit longer, so I asked my daughter where my son was. “By the steps,” she answered. Great. One of my fears is him falling down the stairs, so I ask her to move him away but she doesn’t want to. “It’s a big person job. I’m still little.” I’m wrapping up my business and the next thing you know I hear a thud and cries. Lots of cries. Giant cries from both kids. He had fallen down the stairs, leading me to panicking and praying he’ll be ok. Amie, likewise, was scared, and crying. I had to make sure that my next words did not make her feel guilty in any way for my mistake. You see, he’s been creeping to the edge of the stares a lot lately, and I knew there was the risk he’d fall, yet I’d asked my three year old, one who is still very much a kid, to be a little more responsible than she what she was ready for. I wasn’t angry at her, but at myself, and I realized that almost immediately. I also checked on him and we all calmed down. By the way, he’s totally fine and has been cleared by his pediatrician for more shenanigans. I, however, may need to seek out a cardiologist for that fright.
About the second thing, I learned my daughter, unlike many other kids her age, does NOT want to grow up. She refuses to poop in the potty, not because she’s scared, but because she doesn’t want to grow up. And I’ve been asking her to grow up before she’s ready. I really should know better. She’s my kid after all, and I distinctly remember saying I was a Toys ‘R Us kid and singing, “I don’t wanna grow up!” So now, as a parent, I’m having to reevaluate what it is exactly I want from her. I want her to grow up, in that I want to NOT put her in diapers any more. I know she can do it, but she won’t. While we’ve been full blown potty training this week, she’s struggling with the idea that she’ll still be my little girl while she learns these big people skills. I guess I need to reframe how I teach her to potty! And I need to embrace these years that she’s my child, when she wants snuggles before bed, and is goofy, and simultaneously wants to protect her big brother and play with abandon. I’m trying to over complicate my child’s childhood when it should be so simple.
I guess it’s time for me to learn to handle momming kids as kids and not expecting mini adults…